Last week, I began a review of a book I read many years ago and found on my bookshelf shortly before Valentine’s Day. If you missed last week’s post, you may want to read The Love List – Week One and then return here for this continuation of the review.
Today, we’re looking closely at two things we can do each week to encourage the love in our marriage.
#1: Do something active that lifts your spirits – an activity together.
Shared activities can be fun! Just be sure to pick something you both like.
For many years, HH begged me to go for another ride on his motorcycle with him. I’d been with him once. The pain that set in after only ten minutes made for a miserable longing for home.
No one knew it at the time, but as a child, I suspected I’d broken my tail bone. After the first motorcycle ride flared things up “back there”, I wasn’t about to submit myself to that pain again.
Finally, a friend asked us to sample ride his Gold Wing – the one with the wide, flat seat for the passenger. No pain! HH found a Gold Wing that was affordable, so now we go together often, even on long trips for days and days. God worked it all out in His way, as He always does.
Husbands see great value in having their wives as recreational companions. It may take a little work and investigation, but keep at it. You’ll find something you can enjoy together.
- Cultivate new interests.
- Open your mind to try new things.
- Make time for it.
- Recognize what you bring to the picture. Your presence means more to him than you know.
- Don’t push too hard. Spouses don’t belong in all situations – like a guy’s weekend or a girl’s trip
- Do something crazy. (Wink – like riding with your husband by motorcycle for thousands of miles.)
- Brace yourself for change. Change is never easy. With the right mindset of determination, you can adapt to new activities – and the change might do you good.
- If all else fails, try taking regular walks or car rides together.
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? (Amos 3:3)
#2. Boost your partner’s self-esteem.
When you help your mate reach their potential by boosting their self-confidence, their options seem unlimited. I don’t mean to puff them up with false flattery, but boosting your mate’s self-esteem is your most prized role.
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is worth more than precious rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life. (Proverbs 31:10-11)
Our words can either build up or tear down.
A wise woman builds her house;
a foolish woman tears her down with her own hands. (Proverbs 14:1)
A word of caution, though, is to steer clear of flattery. People know when you’re not being sincere. Admiration must be based on your sincere feelings to have real value.
It helps to make a list of all the things your appreciate about your mate. Not just what they do, but the character trait that’s behind it. For instance, if you are comforted by how your spouse pays the bills on time, the trait that you appreciate is his discipline. Think of the impact it will have when you show them the list.
How many positive traits can you list? It’s a spectacular Sunday! Let’s worship our Lord and celebrate the gift of our marriage. 🙂