Today, it’s time to consider two things to do monthly.
#1: Rid yourselves of harmful residue (Huh?)
Do you sometimes keep quiet about something that bugs the stew out of you? Does it rear its ugly head in your thoughts as you spend time with your spouse, destroying your intimacy?
According to Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, that’s residue. At least once a month, we should clean out our closets.
- Come to terms with unfinished business that needs closure. Ask your spouse what unfinished business is weighing them down.
- Discuss any feelings of loneliness. Knock down those walls of feeling neglected by your mate’s busy schedule or whatever keeps you apart. Disclosing loneliness seems risky, but even in marriage, we can build walls that need to be dealt with.
- Talk about money. Money can cause a lot of tension in marriage, so discuss philosophies for handling money, proper spending and saving, and plan for the future.
- Talk about your emotional needs. Marriage can be wonderfully fulfilling, but no one can fill your soul as perfectly and completely as God does. Although, we still want to cultivate as close a bond with our spouse as possible. Discuss any areas of emotional deficit you’ve experienced over the last month.
- Talk about your anger. Experiencing anger isn’t wrong. The wrong comes in when we handle it the wrong way. Working through anger issues toward resolution and forgiveness is the best solution for any marriage relationship.
#2: Fire up passion in the bedroom
These authors aren’t saying to fire up the passion only once a month. They’re saying that, with intentional effort and attention in this area once every thirty days, the flames of passion can burn strong on all the other days.
- Talk to each other about sex and ask for what you’d like. Don’t make your spouse guess.
- Schedule a sex date. It sounds unromantic, but the anticipation enhances the experience.
- Guard your time fiercely. Children at home can hinder alone time with your mate, but be intentional to not let anything interfere.
- Think ahead. What will make your time together more enjoyable? Music playing? A clean house? Candles burning?
- Enjoy the anticipation. Leaving your spouse a message or sending a text to share your anticipation conjures up expectancy and eagerness.
- Overcome sexual ignorance. Yes, even in our world of sex saturation, we still need some education. Study a good Christian self-help book on the subject.
- What men need to know about women: for women, sex is bound up with the emotional and relational aspects of the relationship, so it all begins in our head. As Kevin Lehman says, “Sex begins in the kitchen.”
- What women need to know about men: sex if often their primary way of connecting with us and can stem from an inability to connect in other ways. If that time is taken away, what then? Men are geared for instant gratification. If your man sees you getting ready for a party and wants to delay your arrival to that party, go with it! Be spontaneous.
Next week will be our final two points to add to our love “to-do” yearly. These two things will prompt us to think intentionally. Have you enjoyed these three weeks so far?
It’s a spectacular Sunday, so get ready for church! And, don’t be late – unless…. 😉