Happy Valentine’s Day! For those of you who are married, what makes a big difference for you in your marriage? What makes you feel better loved?
Is it when he says, “I love you”?
Is it when he takes out the trash?
Brings you coffee in the mornings?
Brings your phone to you (ahem, 15 miles and back) because you couldn’t find it when you left the house that morning?
Is it when he fixes that door that was always sticking?
Is it when he does the laundry while you’re away for the day?
Or, is it when he gives you that smile from across a crowded room?
Does he even have to do anything at all?
Do you just know, deep down in your soul, that he loves you completely?
Turn that around to see things from his perspective. How would he answer those questions about you? Does he know, deep down in his soul, that you love him completely? Would you like to be sure he knows that?
In this book, there’s a list of EIGHT LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
The list is simple, actually. It’s all about doing the things on the list on a regular basis. Not that you should be ALL ABOUT THE LIST. Let’s have some balance here.
My husband and I are different “travelers”. He’s a “get there fast and on a straight path” kind of guy. No detours, no unnecessary stops, not happening. Me? I’d probably n e v e r get there on my own. I love to stop at every antique shop and cute little downtown area I spot along the way. You?
For him, it’s the destination. He wants to hurry up and get there so he can have fun. For me, it’s the journey, the let’s-have-fun-now.
The author, Les, tells of the danger of making these eight things “to do” too much about the list – a story told by Frank Lloyd Write, the famous architect.
The winter he was nine, he went walking across a snow-covered field with his no-nonsense uncle. As the two of them reached the far end of the field, his uncle stopped him. He pointed out his own tracks in the snow, straight and true as an arrow’s flight, and the young Frank’s tracks meandering all over the field. “Notice how your tracks wander aimlessly from the fence to the cattle and to the woods and back again,” his uncle said. And see how my tracks aim directly to my goal. There is an important lesson in that.”
Years later the world famous architect liked to tell how this experience greatly contributed to his philosophy in life. “I determined right then,” he’d say with a twinkle in his eye, “not to miss most things in life, like my uncle had.”
That story ended differently than expected, didn’t it? I enjoy life in my meandering! Do you?
OK, getting on with the list, here are those eight things we should do to love our spouse better:
Once a Day…
- Take Time to Touch (If Only for a Minute)
- Find Something That Makes You Both Laugh
Once a Week…
- Do Something Active That Lifts Your Spirits
- Boost Your Partner’s Self-Esteem
Once a Month…
- Rid Yourselves of Harmful Residue
- Fire Up Passion in the Bedroom
Once a Year…
- Review Your Top-Ten Highlights
- Chart Your Course for the Coming Year
Of course, Drs. Les and Leslie go into detail about putting these things into practice. I remember reading this book probably when it first was published. Somehow, HH and I never made a schedule “to do” these things, but we pretty much do most of it on our own (and by the Grace of God!).
Copies of this 2002 edition, if you’re interested in reading it, are on Amazon for really cheap. The reviews will convince you to get this book! New copies start at $1.95 (wow!). Used copies start at one dollar (plus the $3.99 shipping). It’s worth far more than four dollars in relationship value (the reviews agree)!
I’m considering doing a series in review of this book – for all of our marriages. Would you like that?
Let’s have a spectacular relationship with our spouse. Let’s have a spectacular Sunday and Valentine’s Day!